Friday, 1 January 2016

Having The Grown Up Talks About Their Teenage Life*

Do parents dread the ‘grown up’ talks with their children or do their children more? Well if you have a great relationship with your kids, none of you should feel embarrassed or as if you’re crossing a line. If you can regularly have a bit of banter with your kids and make fun of each other in good taste, then there’s no reason for why you shouldn’t be able to talk to them about some sensitive topics. With decent, explaining some issues to them about becoming an adult will help them to understand themselves better. As parents, it's easy to show our kids how the world works and perhaps even why. But teaching children to be comfortable within themselves is a different matter. The more communication about all kinds of subjects with them, with no limits, the better for you both. Bear in mind that you need to be patient as they won’t understand some of the more complex issues that are only experienced with age.

Don’t copy friends

We’re grown up and we’ve experienced many different kinds of people in our lives. The old saying of ‘if so and so walked off a cliff, you shouldn’t do the same’ needs to be taught to children. Sometimes their friends might seem fun and trustworthy to them but they are not the end all and be all and thus shouldn’t be treated as such. When explaining to children to not follow everything their friends do, it's wise not to sound like you’re passing judgment on their friends. Their friends are like a pincushion sometimes and they can talk to them about things that bother them that perhaps they wouldn’t want their parents to know. So their friends do hold some kind of emotional value for them, so don’t scrutinise them. Merely remind your children that they should remain true to what they believe is right and wrong, and not be forced into doing something they don’t want to be a supposed well-meaning friend.

Behavior at parties

Kids should be going to parties where there are not supervising adults. It's tough to admit, but we all know that children need to experience some kind of independency in their early to late teens. Yes, they will make mistakes but hopefully, by the time their reach their 20s, they will have known the impact of making mistakes in their lives. And keeping them away from their friends actually alienates them from their social circle because they’re the only one who didn’t turn up to socialise. Again you’re treading a thin line because you don’t want to make it sound like you’re telling them not to do something because of course in typical stroppy teenager fashion, they will do the opposite when you try and limit them. Inform them why not drinking too much is a benefit to them. They can enjoy the night better and have the memories of the party rather than no recollection and a splitting headache in the morning.


Taking care of themselves

Schools now are ramping up their sex education for pupils because it's no longer a taboo subject for teenagers as it once may have been. The topic is discussed quite openly nowadays and good for the kids, they have lots of media they see in class to help them understand the male and female anatomy. If your children do ever have unprotected intercourse it may result in medical issues. Thankfully one of the more common is readily helped by the NHS as treatment for chlamydia from your local pharmacy is available. The infection will cause an inflammation of the pelvis making it uncomfortable to sit causing fidgeting. It's a bacterial infection so it may smell a little which is another easy symptom to notice. Don’t be afraid to guide your children into getting treatments for this. Even though education on relationships and intimacy are available on the NHS website, sometimes people do make mistakes. It can be a little embarrassing to make an effort to try and not be so obvious when talking to them about any discomfort.


Sooner or later you will have to have lots of small chats about what it means to be a grown up with your children. For their sake, you should be light in tone about it and not make it seem like you’re there to put them in their place and lecture them. Inform them about how to behave at parties with regards to their alcohol consumption. Even though their friends mean a lot, they could end up getting into trouble because of them, so ask your kids to try and set some boundaries if and when need be.
*Disclaimer: Collaborative content.

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